"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa," Ruby screamed.
She was screaming because her sticker was no longer whole, but I was more upset about what the action symbolized. The smallest part of little Ms. Aurora's body was not her delicate wrists, nor the top of her head. The sticker held the shapes of those traditionally smaller body parts. Where it ripped was through her middle.
Since I teach at a high school, I constantly am aware of body image issues young women face. I myself struggle a good amount with being confident in my size and shape. When I had girl baby, I knew something I wanted for her was to be free of worry over her appearance. Unfortunately, I do not know how to achieve that utopia for her.
I know I can teach her about self worth, that we are not measured by how we dress or how we look but how we treat others. I know I can teach her about a higher power, who created her and loves her regardless of what others think. I know I can teach her about healthy eating and exercise without emphasizing the idea that she must be skinny.
What I do not know is what ideas I will unintentionally transmit to her when I am worrying about my own shape and size. I don't know what my facial expressions and body language will say when I am not paying attention.
Moreso, I don't know what she will take to heart from our thin-obsessed society. What disappoints me is that this begins now, when she is 2. Her idols have measurements similar to the controversial Barbie, who could not hold her top up with her microscopic waist if she were a real woman.
Disney Princesses are lovely, proper ladies with high morals, and I do not object to her admiration for them. I doubt that body image was on the radar in 1959 when "Sleeping Beauty" was created, and I suppose I certainly can see why they didn't want to make Aurora overweight and unhealthy.
But it's not just her. Ruby's favorite is Jasmine from "Aladdin," and she perhaps has the smallest waist of all in contrast with her curvy, Marilyn Monroe hips. In fact, all the princesses have unrealistic body shapes, with no room for ribs or intestines.
Ruby has other role models, like our pal Dora the Explorer, who have normal-sized bodies. The problem is, as she grows, idols with teeny measurements will be available wherever she turns, from Nickelodeon to "Project Runway."
And the question in my mind is: Is it possible to raise a girl in today's society who doesn't compare herself to others but is confident and comfortable in her own skin?
I think of my female high school students, most of whom are wonderful human beings. They are confident and intelligent and beautiful, all in their own ways, and still I am not entirely certain they don't all stress often about how others perceive them to look.
Perhaps it is human nature. But it is a nature I do not want my daughter to have to face.
Luckily, right now she still is at an age where princesses are magical, beautiful beings, and she feels good about herself while looking at them rather than bad. So for now I will relish the innocence of her youth and wait unenthusiastically for a later time to guard her against societal pressures I wish did not exist.
I've been thinking about your post since I read it earlier this week. It's a tough thing to consider for our children, but worse for you having girls. I think you're right about setting a good example, especially talking about being "healthy" as opposed to "skinny." More importantly, however, might be how you talk to your girls about themselves. When people say, "Oh, she so cute" make sure to tell them how smart she is and what great listener. They'll learn quickly what your priorities are.
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