Hurt Pride, Hurt Rear

This morning my friend (who is really cute and single, by the way, so if you know any decent single men HOLLA) and I decided to try a new exercise class.  Trying a new class is usually a good idea.  I mean, it gets you out of your routine, works different muscles and can even break an exercise rut.

The class we selected was labeled a strength training class, and we figured it would be challenging.  We thought so because most of the other classes we have taken at our gym have been challenging.  Both of us were ready for an intense workout: Sweat big or go home.  We were pumped.

We busted into the workout studio right on time, and suddenly we faced ... a room jammed full of silver hair.  Now, I'm not talking about a variety of ages in the room or simply a handful of silver-haired ladies.  No, the average age of the more than 40 ladies in this class was probably 60.

I want to be clear, 60 is not old, in my opinion.  It's just that there was not one woman in the room who was less than 15 years older than we were. We kind of panicked.  My friend asked if we were in the right room, and we were.

So being ageist egoists, our next thought was, of course, "This class is going to be easy!"

We arranged our equipment, feeling confident and preparing to outdo our more mature counterparts.  The instructor started the class, and she had us pick up our exercise balls with both arms and make a figure-8 shape in the air.

If you've never held one of these stability balls, they do not weigh much, maybe 2 lbs.  Those figure 8s, I have to tell you, were just not difficult.  My friend and I looked at each other thinking "This class is a joke."

And then, God decided to punish us for our cockiness.  

The instructor went into turbospeed with arm weights.  We both had to downgrade a size from the weights we usually use.  This lady made us do about 50 repetitions of each and every impossible exercise, and all of it was done while sitting on the ball.

But that was nothing compared to the leg exercises.  Leg lifts. In every direction. Hundreds of reps. Hip flexors, glutes.  Muscle exhaustion.  Ouch.

As we hobbled out, my friend and I looked at each other again.  We came up with excuses.  We decided not very many of the "old ladies" actually did all the reps.  We said we'd rather do 10 reps correctly rather than 100 reps too fast.  We complained about the lack of cardiovascular exercise we did.

I left the gym feeling better. My pride was healing.

Until this evening.  This evening, I cannot walk.  This evening, my rear hurts so bad I am not sure I even can make it to the gym tomorrow.  

This evening, I admitted to myself that some silver-haired ladies kicked my twenty-something butt.  And it hurts.

Short Stuff

My sister is getting married in May.  I am super excited for she and her intelligent, fun future spouse.  I can't weight for the wedding – oops, I mean wait.  That typo honestly was an accident, but it sure leads me right into my point:

Of my sister's six bridesmaids, four are blonde, gorgeous and tall.  Like really tall.  Modelesque, if you will.   It's such an attractive wedding party, jaws will drop.  Leading the pack as matron of honor will be me, in all my short, average glory.  (Shout out to R, my fellow short bridesmaid.)

I'm aware when I write this post people are going to assume I'm obsessed with weight loss.  It's like, can't she talk about anything else? The truth is, I am obsessed with food.  In me, that manifests itself in nutrition and exercise fascination.  I probably won't apologize for that again, so take this as my all-encompassing plea for forgiveness for harping on the same topics repeatedly.

Hence, today being a Sunday, I thought the first day of the week would be the perfect time to begin my quest for wedding body perfection.  Oh, Weight Watchers, I sure have missed you and all your companions: grumbling belly, too much fiber and an extra shot of blandness.  (Disclaimer: WW is awesome. It's been good to me. Disregard all complaints.)

This trip down weight loss lane, I decided to open up the "Biggest Loser" Wii game we got for Christmas.  I thought surely if trainer Jillian Michaels yelled at me for awhile that would get my butt in gear.

What I found when I turned on the game is it is like playing a little mini "Loser" game of your own! It takes your weight and has you input your daily calories.  Oooh, I'm getting all excited just thinking about it.

Then, when you perform the workouts using your Wii remote and the custom balance board, it keeps track of how many calories you burn, so it can calculate what you should be losing.  That way if you lose less than it thinks you should have, maybe it will yell at you or something.

Personally what this does for me is give me some accountability, which is what helped me while going to WW meetings.  Just think, if I don't stick to my diet Jillian's going to be so disappointed in me.  It's like being on the show, but better, because you can still have a life and don't have to worry about being voted off every Tuesday.

My goal is come May I will look good enough to feel comfortable in my dress (which, by the way, has gargantuan pleats all the way around the waist, increasing your perceived weight by about 20 lbs., but is darn cute). If I can pull this off with self confidence, then maybe my undersized 2-year-old will believe as she gets older that height ain't nothin' but a number, be it a small one.

Exercise Isn't Enough

It being January, I joined the rest of the country and decided to make some resolutions.  This year I actually wrote them down (or rather, typed them into my iPhone) because I always hear you better achieve your goals if you write them down.

Every person I have spoken with about resolutions this year has included some kind of health and fitness resolution.  What fascinates me about this is that I assume the percentage of people who actually keep these resolutions is miniscule.  

Proof of this is how IRRITATING it is to go to the gym in January, because the machines are always taken and the classes are always too full, yet when February rolls around the gym reverts back to being wide open space.  Although I go to the gym year-round, I definitely am among the ranks of people who neglect their weight loss resolutions.

I have an excellent theory as to why so many of us fail to achieve our weight loss aspirations.  I believe it is because our country, through many different avenues, sends us all the message that exercise = automatic weight loss.

I can hear all of you saying in your Americanized heads, "Well, it does."  Yes, it does – if you do enough of it. If you maintain your current level of calorie intake.  If your daily calories burned number is larger than your daily calories eaten number enough times.

However, I have thought for a long time that people underestimate the number of calories they eat and overestimate the number of calories they burn when the exercise.  

In addition, something I always do is overcompensate for my hard work in the gym by intaking more calories than I would otherwise. I know I am doing it, too, and I tell myself that it is just fine and dandy to eat one more handful of chocolate chips because, heck, I've exercised, so at least I won't gain weight.

I was both delighted and horrified when one of my many well-read and extremely intelligent high school students told me about this Time article. It basically confirms that it's not just me, that a bunch of people eat more when they exercise, because it's a scientific fact that exercise stimulates hunger.

Can we overcome this problem? Sure, now that we know about it, if we write down what we eat and calorie count.  

However, this is not the only hurdle we face.  Exercising, while wonderful for a million different health reasons, may not burn as many calories as you may think.

A person must have about a 3,500 calorie deficit to lose a single pound.  If a person is breaking even on calories in vs. calories out right now, and walking burns just more than 200 calories an hour, a person may have to walk an hour a day for 15 days in addition to maintaining his current exercise level and calorie intake, to lose just one pound.

Jeez, what a downer you are being, Kristin, you are thinking.  Are trying to discourage me so badly that I quit exercising? 

No, I'm not, but that's exactly what happens when people think that all they have to do is listen to the gym commercials on the radio, sign up, work out a few times, and BOOM turn into a size 2 fitness model.  The number one reason I believe people give up on resolutions is because of unrealistic expectations.  If you believe your solution to weight loss is exercise, you must exercise hard and often, and make sure it doesn't cause you to increase your calorie intake.

Which brings me to my point: Watching what you eat is a much easier way to lose weight.  It's pretty easy to cut 300-500 calories off your daily count, especially if you are eating the average of 2,000 calories a day. Besides, eating healthy can be so much fun!  It's like a game: Who can eat the most, tastiest food for the lowest amount of calories?

I am definitely not saying not to exercise.  Exercising makes me feel energized and super attractive, even when I have a few pounds to lose.  If I go to the gym in the morning, I walk around feeling like a hot mama all day long.

However, I am saying that healthy eating is the key to weight loss, and exercise isn't. 

 

Therefore, you should probably keep reading my blog so I can inspire you to establish and maintain a healthy diet.  Just consider me your entertaining (and if nothing else free) healthy eating motivator.  And hopefully I'll also motivate myself this new year.