Changes for the Better

So here's the deal: I have been so busy lately that I cannot even sit down for 10 seconds to write.  I hate it when people make excuses about why they haven't been blogging; don't you hate it?

But seriously.  I have been busy helping with parties for my sister's wedding. Which is in six weeks. When I have to wear a dress the color of my skin.  Standing next to at least four, six-foot-tall, blonde, supermodel types.  Tan supermodels.

And I've also been busy because I'm in charge of planning my 10-year class reunion.  Oh, I didn't mention that?  Yes, this summer is my class reunion.  You know. The one where everyone shows up to see who is rich or overweight.  And I have to go. Because I'm planning it. Because 10 years ago I thought it would be cool to plan.  Before I realized why people attend reunions.

No, I'm not really that cynical.  Actually, I am very extra super excited for both of these events.  But they are motivating me to get my rear in motion.

Except, of course, I'm too busy to move rear.  Because I'm planning all these events.  That I want to look good at.

Come to find out, it takes time to get in real shape.  I needed to find a way to fake it.  Therefore, I decided the best way to make the number on the scale go down, for me, was to quit eating so much sugar.

There, I typed it.  Now that you all know about it, I can no longer cheat.  Very much.

And since I decided to cut back my sugar intake, I also decided to quit white flour altogether.  (Which reminds me, I was making a cupcake recipe – they weren't for me, don't worry – from Martha Stewart's Web site, and she spelled cake flour, "flower."  Oh, it just cracked me up. I mean, she thinks she's perfect, but she's getting her flowers mixed up.  Sounds like something Amelia Bedelia would do: Plant cake flour in the garden.  Hehe.)

I don't eat very much white flour anyway.  Whole grains are tasty.

I remember back in the day, five years ago, when I was living in northeastern Kansas, they came out with whole grain pasta.  It tasted like absolute sandpaper.  (Or maybe it just seemed that way because that entire year leaves a sandpaper taste in my mouth, but that's a different post.)

Whole grain pasta has improved so much that I can barely tell the difference between it and the real thing!  Whole grains metabolize so much differently than processed grains; you should all switch to whole grain pasta immediately.

Anyway, here's the good news: I lost two whole pounds last week, and that's really all I did differently.  It's the sugar.  I eat. A lot. Of sugar.  This no sugar thing stinks, but it's awesome. And just so you know, I WILL be having wedding cake at my sister's wedding.  An entire, frosting-covered piece.

In other news, I am probably going to be changing my blog to three sections soon: Healthy Eating, Healthy Living, and Healthy Little Ones.  It's going to be so much fun. I can hardly wait.

Short Stuff

My sister is getting married in May.  I am super excited for she and her intelligent, fun future spouse.  I can't weight for the wedding – oops, I mean wait.  That typo honestly was an accident, but it sure leads me right into my point:

Of my sister's six bridesmaids, four are blonde, gorgeous and tall.  Like really tall.  Modelesque, if you will.   It's such an attractive wedding party, jaws will drop.  Leading the pack as matron of honor will be me, in all my short, average glory.  (Shout out to R, my fellow short bridesmaid.)

I'm aware when I write this post people are going to assume I'm obsessed with weight loss.  It's like, can't she talk about anything else? The truth is, I am obsessed with food.  In me, that manifests itself in nutrition and exercise fascination.  I probably won't apologize for that again, so take this as my all-encompassing plea for forgiveness for harping on the same topics repeatedly.

Hence, today being a Sunday, I thought the first day of the week would be the perfect time to begin my quest for wedding body perfection.  Oh, Weight Watchers, I sure have missed you and all your companions: grumbling belly, too much fiber and an extra shot of blandness.  (Disclaimer: WW is awesome. It's been good to me. Disregard all complaints.)

This trip down weight loss lane, I decided to open up the "Biggest Loser" Wii game we got for Christmas.  I thought surely if trainer Jillian Michaels yelled at me for awhile that would get my butt in gear.

What I found when I turned on the game is it is like playing a little mini "Loser" game of your own! It takes your weight and has you input your daily calories.  Oooh, I'm getting all excited just thinking about it.

Then, when you perform the workouts using your Wii remote and the custom balance board, it keeps track of how many calories you burn, so it can calculate what you should be losing.  That way if you lose less than it thinks you should have, maybe it will yell at you or something.

Personally what this does for me is give me some accountability, which is what helped me while going to WW meetings.  Just think, if I don't stick to my diet Jillian's going to be so disappointed in me.  It's like being on the show, but better, because you can still have a life and don't have to worry about being voted off every Tuesday.

My goal is come May I will look good enough to feel comfortable in my dress (which, by the way, has gargantuan pleats all the way around the waist, increasing your perceived weight by about 20 lbs., but is darn cute). If I can pull this off with self confidence, then maybe my undersized 2-year-old will believe as she gets older that height ain't nothin' but a number, be it a small one.

Eating Can Be Stressful

I've always wanted to believe there's some kind of biological reason stress leads to eating.  It would explain college.  

Obviously, a lot of people, and let's not lie to ourselves, especially lots of women, eat when stressed.  What I mean is, I want someone to say, "Don't worry, honey.  That's natural.  Your body makes you do it."

This is what ruined my diet in college: I never slept at all on Wednesday nights.  I was married to the student newspaper, and we pulled all-nighters on Hump Day.  The student newspaper traded a free ad to the snack bar upstairs for providing a refrigerator-sized box each week filled with pizza, soda, candy bars and chips.  And finally, no matter what I did to try to prevent it, I ate the stuff in the box.

I would do everything I could think of to try to avoid the box.  I would move it behind a bookshelf on the other side of the room.  I would eat as many vegetables as I could for dinner so I would be full. I'd bring my own healthy snacks. 

But dang that box.  It beat me at my game every time.  Always the candy bars, and it's not as if I'd eat just one.  

Interestingly, the semester after I graduated I lost 15 lbs., and it's never come back.  Admittedly this is most likely due to Weight Watchers, but I'm also going to give props to myself for leaving the box, and that type of stress, behind.

Cue this week in my life.  One day this week, I started an interview for a magazine article I was writing at 7:30 a.m.  By 10 p.m. I had written and turned in three of my own articles and submitted what will probably be the most controversial issue yet of the high school paper I advise to the printer.  

The stress level felt extremely familiar, and for whatever reason it was the first time I'd felt that type of stress since college.  It's not the worst kind of stress, not like the kind when you've committed a crime or lost a loved one.  And it's not like when you have a ton of stuff to do and you don't want to do any of it.  No, it's exhilarating: Adrenaline shoots through your body, and you are forced to perform superhuman acts just to stay above water.  It's glorious and horrifying all at once.

Anyway, by 10 p.m., I was scouring my kitchen for that box.  "Why did I ban candy bars from entering my house?" I thought. Then I remembered the elusive 15 lbs.

I went to the Internet to figure out why stress may drive me to chocolate. I found an article from last month's Mayo Clinic magazine, and it basically told me that what I am talking about is called emotional eating.  Really the only plausible reason they offered for the eating was eating is a distraction from my problems.  Whoopty-doo.  I wanted those smarty doctors to tell me there was a "eateverythinginsightrightnow" chemical in my brain forcing me to eat.

The article also offered some lame advice to overcome emotional eating.  It had some great ideas, like eat healthy food, which I clearly have tried, and get enough sleep.  Oh yes, Mayo Clinic Geniuses, I will just go ahead and sleep through my two children 2 and younger screaming and all my work responsibilities  calling my name.

Apparently, I didn't need medical doctors to tell me how to escape emotional eating.  You see, that box, it's two hours away.  Even I am not that desperate for chocolate.

The Myth of Millie Metabolism

One of my favorite shows is NBC's "The Biggest Loser."  I love the show because it has such a positive message: You can change your life.

If you haven't seen "Biggest Loser," a lot of the show features the obese contestants exercising.  However, the trainers also teach contestants a healthy diet, and together with the activity it helps them lose massive amounts of weight by the last episode.

Truly, I personally am fascinated by the contestants' stories about how and why they gained so much weight.  If you have not seen the show, it airs at 7 p.m. CST Tuesdays, and this season has just started.  Turn it on sometime; it's inspiring.

On the flip side, I'm incredibly blessed with a job that allows me to spend a lot of time interacting with teenagers.  (I can hear all of your jealous screams now, wondering how I got all the good fortune.) 

I absolutely adore my students, the majority of whom are girls, but one problem I have with spending time with beautiful and skinny teenagers is it creates an unrealistic body image for me.  If you spend enough time with teens, whose bodies are tiny due to activity level and youthful metabolism, you start to wonder how they eat Little Debbie snackcakes at such an alarming rate while still fitting into their skinny jeans.

Which brings me to my point: It is perplexing to me that some folks can be unhealthily thin and some others can be unhealthily heavy and the rest of us fall in between, all because of our eating and activity habits. Notice I didn't say, all because the good Lord blessed us with different speeds of metabolism.

Millie Metabolism is an ornery little booger who often pops up in conversation.  She's the convenient excuse. "I'd be at healthy weight if it weren't for that Millie.  She's just tooooo slow."

As many of you may know, your metabolism, loosely defined, is the rate at which your body burns calories, or the number of calories your body needs just to get through your typical day.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I hate to break it to you.  I know it hurts to part with old friends. But in all actuality, your Aunt Millie most likely isn't slower than your skinniest friend's Millie.  It's a scientific fact that obese people actually have a higher metabolism than thin people.

Think about it: Would I burn more calories tomorrow if I gave my two-year-old Ruby a piggyback ride all day tomorrow, or if I gave one to my husband Wayne?  Obviously, if you have more to carry around with you, you will burn more calories.

The first time I heard this was three or four years ago.  I was watching "Oprah" (don't judge; it was before her show started to stink), and Dr. Mehmet Oz was on the TV talking about weight loss.  

Previously I had been quite certain that metabolism was a key factor in a person's final weight.  I was darn sure that my Millie was not created equally; in fact, I was certain she was the turtle of all turtles, and that fact made me feel justified in my weight loss struggles.

Dr. Oz burst my bubble. If you are wanting him to explain it to you, here is an article I somehow dug up about this topic.  I was upset at the time, but now I have come to the conclusion that he helped me not hide behind convenient excuses.

Now, I am not saying people's metabolisms don't vary.  Many factors can affect your metabolism, especially including your age and body chemistry.  I am quite sure as well that other medical factors can affect your weight.  I am not a nutritionist, or a scientist, or a doctor, so I can't really explain all that stuff to you.  

What I can say is, people of your age, gender and general body type probably have similar metabolisms to yours, so really all you can do to control your weight is watch your caloric intake vs. your calorie expenditures.  

To do this, I have a daily contest with my Millie.  I try to make sure the number of calories I eat is less than the number she plans to burn on her slowest day.  

Try it with me: Read my blog for ideas on how to beat your Millie!

Exercise Isn't Enough

It being January, I joined the rest of the country and decided to make some resolutions.  This year I actually wrote them down (or rather, typed them into my iPhone) because I always hear you better achieve your goals if you write them down.

Every person I have spoken with about resolutions this year has included some kind of health and fitness resolution.  What fascinates me about this is that I assume the percentage of people who actually keep these resolutions is miniscule.  

Proof of this is how IRRITATING it is to go to the gym in January, because the machines are always taken and the classes are always too full, yet when February rolls around the gym reverts back to being wide open space.  Although I go to the gym year-round, I definitely am among the ranks of people who neglect their weight loss resolutions.

I have an excellent theory as to why so many of us fail to achieve our weight loss aspirations.  I believe it is because our country, through many different avenues, sends us all the message that exercise = automatic weight loss.

I can hear all of you saying in your Americanized heads, "Well, it does."  Yes, it does – if you do enough of it. If you maintain your current level of calorie intake.  If your daily calories burned number is larger than your daily calories eaten number enough times.

However, I have thought for a long time that people underestimate the number of calories they eat and overestimate the number of calories they burn when the exercise.  

In addition, something I always do is overcompensate for my hard work in the gym by intaking more calories than I would otherwise. I know I am doing it, too, and I tell myself that it is just fine and dandy to eat one more handful of chocolate chips because, heck, I've exercised, so at least I won't gain weight.

I was both delighted and horrified when one of my many well-read and extremely intelligent high school students told me about this Time article. It basically confirms that it's not just me, that a bunch of people eat more when they exercise, because it's a scientific fact that exercise stimulates hunger.

Can we overcome this problem? Sure, now that we know about it, if we write down what we eat and calorie count.  

However, this is not the only hurdle we face.  Exercising, while wonderful for a million different health reasons, may not burn as many calories as you may think.

A person must have about a 3,500 calorie deficit to lose a single pound.  If a person is breaking even on calories in vs. calories out right now, and walking burns just more than 200 calories an hour, a person may have to walk an hour a day for 15 days in addition to maintaining his current exercise level and calorie intake, to lose just one pound.

Jeez, what a downer you are being, Kristin, you are thinking.  Are trying to discourage me so badly that I quit exercising? 

No, I'm not, but that's exactly what happens when people think that all they have to do is listen to the gym commercials on the radio, sign up, work out a few times, and BOOM turn into a size 2 fitness model.  The number one reason I believe people give up on resolutions is because of unrealistic expectations.  If you believe your solution to weight loss is exercise, you must exercise hard and often, and make sure it doesn't cause you to increase your calorie intake.

Which brings me to my point: Watching what you eat is a much easier way to lose weight.  It's pretty easy to cut 300-500 calories off your daily count, especially if you are eating the average of 2,000 calories a day. Besides, eating healthy can be so much fun!  It's like a game: Who can eat the most, tastiest food for the lowest amount of calories?

I am definitely not saying not to exercise.  Exercising makes me feel energized and super attractive, even when I have a few pounds to lose.  If I go to the gym in the morning, I walk around feeling like a hot mama all day long.

However, I am saying that healthy eating is the key to weight loss, and exercise isn't. 

 

Therefore, you should probably keep reading my blog so I can inspire you to establish and maintain a healthy diet.  Just consider me your entertaining (and if nothing else free) healthy eating motivator.  And hopefully I'll also motivate myself this new year.